How am I special?
1 year ago
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Need to go to Rehab?Need to hide myself under a sack? What is it?A teenage Attack?
When I should be the happiest person on this earth why am I so insecure?..when I give it my best
everytime why can't I expect good output?..what am I afraid of?..everytime I plan to open my wings
to take a flight..I feel something stopping me..what is it?>?..Another teenage tale?..certainly it is.
But
then there must be a way out...where is it?..to my right?..to my left?..up?..no..it has be down..where I
can hide myself...I wish!!!
Confession-Half of the time I dont use my brains I say what I hear..And I realise the fact that will
have to pay for this.Not the person to whom those words belong to..But I.
Realisation-I want to lock myself in a room, I wanna hide myself somewhere because I am ashamed
of my words..my action.
Need-I need to know what kind of person am I? the one who is all the time rude?..devil?.. who
doesnt know what to speak when to speak?..what to speak and what not to? Or the one who is
confused all the time and just cant make a choice?..or may be the one who is fifeteen and STILL
trying to figure out things...and not just things but the most important thing.What kind of person she
is?
Whether she likes dinner or partying?
Sneakers or belly?
Rubber band or hair band?
Smart or Cute?
Pen or pencil?
And a trillion of such stupid things.
God knows where this stupid,confused path will take me> All I know is I need space,I need time,I
need to get underground and hide myself till the time I am prepared for every question that comes
my way.
And for that I ll have to take a decision that MAKES me feel isolated-I ll have to quite all
my social networks,my phone(each word is hitting me so hard that dont wanna write more of these things).
But i promise I will figure it out one day and will be writing a post explaning-Myself.
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4 comments:
oye samster, it is certainly another teenage attack... when i started reading, it lead me to those words which i thought described my situation as well... i hope u're alrite now... plus, darl, wat are these summer for, you have all the time on this earth to think abt it... y dun u do that... everynight before sleeping.. u noe conclude what u are from everything u did through out the day...
hope it helps...
tons of love! xxx
Thanx roosh but it isnt that simple..!! u know everytime i think abt the fight-i realise itz me who is wrong..adding on to this i don't know what to say..how to say sorry to the poor girl.
F.o-I feel helpless.
somya, the feeling of helpless-ness is a big one.. it scares me to death... i realise how u feel...and it wasnt ur fault.. if u think it was, then their mission's accomplished in making u feel guilty, more, i dun deny that it wasnt any of our fault, u harshi(i include her too) and me are at fault the same.. we are ''sharing' the guiltiness.. so chill, please...
But that is not done--I didnot mean even a word what i said.
I was just panicky at that moment. and she will make up with u and harshita but not me becuz i was really rude>
I feel PATHETIC>
and roosh..being rude WAS my fault!!!!
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